If Airlines Were Ex-Boyfriends…

Enjoy this cheeky lil post inspired by a funny meme my friend sent me – if all the airlines I’ve flown were actually ex boyfriends. Enjoy and let me know what your airlines would look like in the comments below!

if airlines were ex boyfriends

Luftshansa

Your first boyfriend, aww. Lots of a firsts with this guy. Because it was a natural breakup when you went away to college, you’ll always remember him fondly. You don’t see him much anymore but when you do, you catch up with a drink. If you’re both single, maybe a hook up for old time’s sake. Time has definitely made you both better.

Ryan Air

Honestly a nostalgic hook up when you don’t want to feel like a grown up. He’s the guy you met in college while studying abroad and had a lot of fun with. While you used to imagine Lufthansa and you growing old together, you’ve never seen Ryan Air as anything serious. Too immature and too much of a fuckboi even now. Good for a laugh though!

Easy Jet

The guy you hooked up with when Ryan Air pissed you off in college. Honestly haven’t heard much from him in a while, is he still around?

Finnair

The guy that SEEMS like he should be amazing, especially with those northern European looks looks, but is utterly disappointing. You’re still confused how he isn’t considered Scandinavian, but you know not to joke about it because he got weirdly offended when you did. You still haven’t forgiven him for losing your favorite sweater.

American Airlines

Honestly, the guy you’d probably end up with if you stay in Philly. He’s nice and very reliable. A guy you kinda knew through high school but only dated as an adult. Kinda rough in the beginning but has improved leaps and bounds. You’ve been on and off with him and are currently on. Even got an apartment together, though you’re never there.

United

A big mistake you made a few times too many. It’s a shame because you love his friend, Asiana, but they’re a package deal with you living on the East Coast. Still haven’t forgiven him for almost killing you over the Pacific. The sex wasn’t even that good, ugh.

Delta

You’ve gone out a few times and really like him. So grown-up and charming. But he doesn’t really come to Philly often, and he might be a little too good for you.

Frontier Airlines

Didn’t even make it past the app. Maybe if you’d met in college, but you unmatched with that dude the minute he started talking about how much baggage he couldn’t handle. Blech.

Spirit

Totally swiped left. You’ve had a lot of friends get together with him and every single one regretted it, so you’re not about the same mistake. Thank U, Next.

Asiana

You’d marry Asiana if he was interested, but United soured all chances, and he’s very much a West Coast/Korea guy, and right now you’re in an East Coast/Europe phase. *Sigh* maybe some day if you ever get fluent in Korean.

Korean

Surprisingly sweet guy, but it’d have to be long distance and it’d just never work.

Japan Airlines

SUCH a pleasant surprise. Very sweet. Feels like a real grown-up and is definitely much cleaner than you, though you’ve never seen his apartment. You actually do want to see more of him, but it’s kind of complicated. He might actually be friends with American, so hopefully neither find out they’ve dated/been dating you… Not to mention he doesn’t really come to the East Coast.

Vietnam Airlines

The nice, long fling you had while in Vietnam. Kind of a grown up and was super reliable and fun to be with until your last time together when he totally flaked last minute, leaving you almost stranded in Hai Phong and out a few hundred bucks. Annoyed enough to ghost him after that, but will probably reach out if you’re back in the country because there were really only two options…

Vietjet Air

Too immature. You’d probably have had a lot of fun if you’d met in your college years or early twenties, but you’re nearing 30! You also deeply suspect he’s skinnier than you, which is kind of a turn off.

British Airway

I mean he’s okay, but you don’t have much experience. And the time you did, he bragged about all his fancy friends and made you feel poor, which wasn’t hard because you were in college. You’re also really not into how late he wound up being on your one and only date. Still, you hooked up because… well, the accent.

TAP Portugal

Brief hook-up. Was fine? Nothing to write home about.

Norwegian Air

Another brief hook-up. Not bad, not amazing. He made you come all the way to NYC to hook-up and stayed up almost all night. You’re too old for this shit.

I’ll have to add more if I think of them! Hope you enjoyed :p!

2 Comments

  1. Cyrielle
    June 30, 2022 / 11:53 pm

    Just had the greatest laugh ! This article is amazing ! :D

    • Samantha
      Author
      July 15, 2022 / 5:24 pm

      Haha glad someone else got a chuckle!

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